12 REASONS WHY DATING IN LA
IS SO DIFFICULT
BY LAUREL HOUSE
You’re right. Dating in LA can be difficult. And to some, it even sucks. Which is why we got professional dating coach (!!!) Laurel House to walk us through why dating here is different from anywhere else in the world, so we all at least know what we’re up against.
Everyone is always “on”
Runyon Canyon is supposed to be the kind of relaxed type of place where people should have their guard down, but instead everyone is in full hair and makeup, and unnecessarily sexy athletic wear, JUST IN CASE.
Age is truly just a number
Thanks to age-confusing plastic surgery and makeup, it’s not uncommon to go from dating someone who could be your parent to someone who could be your kid.
Is it a date, interview, reality show taping, or networking opportunity?
On the rare occasion that you are actually asked out in person, the purpose isn’t always clear. Do they want to hire you or screw you? Or both? Or… neither?
You’ll date someone who’s an entrepreneur, producer, writer, actor, director, or model
Aka someone who’s under- or unemployed. Or both.
Accidentally meeting someone on the street or in passing is rare
Lots of us work from home, leaving little time for in-person social interactions. And for those of us who have real “jobs,” unlike in cities where public transportation is the norm, we sequester ourselves in our cars, only to deposit ourselves at the office. Bumping into that person you were flirting with last night? Not gonna happen.
Each town has its own type
Santa Monica, Venice, Hollywood, West Hollywood, Hermosa, Silver Lake, Beverly Hills, Pasadena, Sherman Oaks, or Downtown… more than being a driving distance apart, each area is an attitude apart, too. From hipster to highfalutin, beach bum to buttoned-up, where a person resides can say a lot about their personality, profession… and tendency to be on time.
Divorced with kids? That’s a turn… on?
In LA, having a kid can be even more of a turn on: it shows that you know how to be responsible, nurture, and care for another. And in a town filled with flakes, that’s seriously sexy.
Absolutely everyone is online
Because of the urban sprawl, workaholic hours, and number of work-from-home entrepreneurs/actors/writers/directors/models, online dating long ago shed itself of any stigma. Sometimes it feels like another form of social media as you are matched up with your neighbor, co-worker, best friend, best friend’s ex, and even your own ex. Awkward? Sure. Part of the deal? Yup.
“Do I know you?” “Oh. Sorry.”
You have to be careful who you smile at, wave to, or approach and ask “do I know you?” Chances are high that you know them from either seeing them on the big screen, little screen, or online dating scene, which is particularly unfortunate if you’ve repeatedly ignored or turned them down.
There is literally someone more beautiful and richer (or they claim to be) at the next table
You will never be the prettiest, richest, most successful, or most famous person in LA (sorry) — there will always be someone better than you in all superficial departments, which makes dating a constant merry-go-round if you’re just in it to have fun or be arm candy. It’s way too easy for anyone to turn their head to the left or right, and see something more tempting.
Expectations are exceedingly high, thanks to a few truly wealthy guys
Sorry dudes, once a lady’s been treated to the tasting menu at Melisse or box seats at the Hollywood Bowl, happy hour drinks seem a bit… dismal.
But just because a dude pulls up in a Porsche, it doesn’t mean he can pay his rent
And just because he drives a “regular” car, it doesn’t mean he’s barely getting by. Tons of wealthy dudes have low-profile cars specifically to find out whether they’re dating a gold digger.