Break Patterns

Time for changeDo you find yourself always dating the wrong woman or the wrong man?  Then you likely have a dating pattern that you need to break.

Sometimes, because people come in different shapes and sizes, we are often tricked into thinking they are different from our previous relationships. In reality this is not always the case.  Ladies, you may be dating someone who is more quite and shy than the ultra-manly man you dated before, but he is still not connecting emotionally. Fella’s, maybe you tried to date a woman who was a teacher because you thought she would be sweet and nurturing than your high powered ex, but she still seems too not have time for you. The reason it seems like “they’re all the same” is because, subconsciously, you are picking the same types of people to date. So the problem starts with you and your choices that your making.

If you’re reading this and feel like you could be making the mistakes with your love life, than take out a pen. Make a list of your 5 past relationships (good or bad), then list the first 5 qualities you liked and disliked about them that pop into your head. As you’re writing your list, you will soon be able to see a pattern. If the pattern is you date women who are not nurturing, start ask qualifying questions as you are getting to know your potential partner. For instance, “I love to stay home and make a delicious meal with a glass of wine. Do you like to cook? Are you open to cooking together?” You could also try the playful approach. “I’m a little childlike, when I’m sick. Are you a good nurse?” Judge her responses to your questions to decide whether or not she will be the type of nurturing woman you desire.

Figuring out the mind of a man is a little more difficult. The easiest way to judge them is by their actions. If your pattern is dating men who are emotionally unavailable, be wary of men who make excuses for not showing more emotion or refuse to open up about their personal lives. It’s important to make sure you both are on the same page with your feelings and expectations. If he says ‘I could see myself with you,’ that doesn’t necessarily mean he wants to be with you. Relationships can be tricky. Yes, sometimes a man is confused about what he wants; but as a woman, how long do you wait around for him to figure it out? It’s a thin line between a man being confused and him stringing you along; make it your business to find out early on, which is which. Your feelings will thank you in the long run.

These are just two examples of possible bad dating patterns, but your pattern may be different. If you’re dating relationships aren’t working for you, challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone now. Attend singles events, make new friends and love yourself more. A dating coach is a great resource to help you identify and break dating patterns that are negatively impacting you’re dating life.

 

Happy Dating!

Jessie

The Real Matchmaker LA

 

 

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