San Francisco has gotten some flack recently as being the top Snobbiest Cities in the US. Let’s be honest…we SF’ers kinda like our elite reputation. We’re a hotbed of intellectuals, techies, artists, chefs, sommeliers, and entrepreneurs. Our city is BEAUTIFUL, and most people you meet are fit, outdoorsy, and adventuresome because we have all the wonders of nature surrounding us. We are 7×7 miles packed full of a bunch of bad asses!! So why wouldn’t we want to wear the crown of the elite? Well, you know the saying: It’s lonely at the top.
Having interviewed and worked with hundreds of single men and women of all ages I hear a lot of complaints from men and women. The most common of all are: Men say that women are not NICE when approached. Women say that men are not aggressive or confident enough.
Can you see the disconnect here?
Let’s face it ladies, we are FIERCE. We have accomplished so much, traveled everywhere, and have tons of friends and activities to keep our calendars full outside of our busy work lives. We’re hard wired to be cautious when it comes to getting to know men. Have you noticed how often men approach a woman only to have her immediately lean back and size him up? It’s what we do! He then has to overcome our skepticism and begin to prove that he’s not there to roofie our $20 artisan cocktail. From that point we might begin the interview process by asking what he does for a living. Guess what? He knows he’s being tested. Here’s the thing to know about SF guys: they are just as confident and sure of themselves as we are. If you put yourself in his shoes would you feel like dancing like a monkey to keep him entertained? Didn’t think so. So what happens is that after this dog and pony show goes down in flames too many times: Men. Stop. Trying. This is why as we approach the age that we actually want to go out and hunt for a boyfriend, all the dudes have their eyes fixed to the television or are off playing pool with their wolf pack.
So ladies, the next time a guy hovers next to you or makes some eye contact, give him a smile and say hello. He’ll then have the green-light to come up to you and show you what a catch he is.
Now, it’s not all our fault, ladies. Men could stand to own their role in the proverbial mating dance too. Listen guys, we know we can be a bit harsh at first, but it really doesn’t take a lot to bust down that icy wall. If you approach a woman and she gives you the stare-down, call her out! Seriously. Don’t tell her to get that bitch look off her face or anything (that would be very, very bad), but flash a big smile and say “do I have something on my shirt?” then quickly introduce yourself and say something nice to her. She’ll respect that you acknowledged that she was sizing you up, but you can’t be intimidated by that! You’re going for it! And now that you have given her some validation, she’ll be inclined to reciprocate and give you a shot. The thing about SF ladies is that we want a man that has the cojones to stand up to us. That doesn’t mean that, contrary to popular belief, that women are only attracted to jerks. We only want a man that can stand up to a little heat because we are after all, pretty hot to trot.
The lesson we learn from this is that as men and women, we have a responsibility to make the dating world a little less rough and tumble. We owe it to each other to be considerate, open, and direct.
Now that you are empowered with this knowledge and have some new guns in your dating arsenal, it’s time to get out and fire away! Visit therealmatchmaker.com to sign up for a sizzling Single to Mingle event where you can meet single professionals and show off your new moves!