Dan, Pasadena, CA

In a world of money making frauds, she is the real deal. Jessie took the time to meet with me, got to know me and listened to what my needs were and what I was interested in, then rolled up her sleeves and went to work. It’s very evident she knows what she’s doing, and takes great pride in taking care of her clients needs. The women she represents, and the dates she has arranged for me have been nothing short of extraordinary, and really fun as well. Really pleased to be working with her.

Lisa, Santa Monica, CA

Jessie, you made me feel so comfortable during our matchmaking consultation. I felt like I was talking to a girlfriend! Thank you for taking so much time to get to know me. Your feedback on how I was holding myself back from meeting quality men was really insightful and inspiring. I can’t wait to meet my first match!

Robert, San Francisco, CA

Anni, I am so impressed with your attention to detail and personal approach to matchmaking. So many dating events are cheesy and awkward and it shows that you put so much effort to set yourself apart from other dating services. I have learned so much from your dating advice and appreciate the candid feedback that you so tactfully deliver.

Carol, Pasadena, CA

Jessie has shown to be a warm encouraging fan and expresses a sincere desire to find a match. Her mixers are a nice range of both women and men and it’s easy to feel comfortable without feeling you are in a “single” situation. She’s a good listener, shows good humor, and is certainly engaging in her role as a matchmaker.

Tannia, Los Angeles, CA

Jessie has a great eye and knew exactly who she wanted to set me up with as soon as she met me. I had a great first date with the guy she set me up with and I am excited to see where this goes. Thanks Jessie, you made this so easy for us.

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Want a Healthy, Lasting Relationship? Keep it Simple!

We at The Real Matchmaker have been spending a ton of time lately researching the hundreds of dating coaches out there relationship advisers out there. It’s mind-boggling! Frankly, it’s difficult to comprehend how dating coaching can be effective without actually meeting people. Our mission in doing this research was to find the common themes and condense them into a handy dandy quick read so that you can spend less time trying to figure out how to get what you want and more time actually GETTING IT.

Love Yourself

Accept the person you are today. Acknowledge what you are most proud of. Take the steps to improve upon the areas in which you feel you need to grow. Make a commitment to say 3 nice things to yourself for every 1 negative thought.

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Be a reflection of the partner you desire

 

Assess yourself: Career, finances, body image, social life, family values, household habits, spirituality, emotional stability,  and what your relationship goals are. Are you a mirror of the partner that you desire? If not, you must choose to improve upon yourself or adjust your expectations. You must enter into a lasting relationship as equals.

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Remember: You are a capable of loving and being loved. You are worthy of adoration and loyalty. You are an open invitation to love and devotion.

Let Go of Fear

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This can be a challenge and it takes being very honest and vulnerable with yourself to identify the source of your fear. Fear is your biggest obstacle in attaining a healthy relationship, so we’ve developed some affirmations when you need to talk yourself off the ledge:

  • Fear of rejection (not being loved)

The person you attract will be attracted to you

  • Fear of needs not being met (disappointment)

The person you choose will compromise to meet your needs

  • Fear of abandonment (not feeling secure)

The person you attract will be loyal and supportive

  • Fear of not being good enough (not feeling valued)

The person you attract will celebrate the person you are today, not who you could potentially be

  • Fear of wasting time (missed opportunities)

You make a conscious decision to let go of your Plan B and invest your heart in the person in front of you

  • Fear of choosing the wrong partner (self-doubt)

You have reached a level of self-awareness and value that allows you to trust yourself in choosing a partner that is attracted to you, meets your needs, that is loyal, that celebrates who you are today, and you have let go of questioning who else is out there.

Get into ACTION

You will not bring a partner into your life without action. Get involved with singles social groups, join an online dating site, and hire a matchmaker. Make a commitment to go on at least 2 dates a month.

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ccept that your life will change when you bring another into your life

You will be glad to accommodate and make room for your partner in life. Clear out space to actively seek your partner.

Change Your Mind-set About the Journey

Finding your partner should be fun. Let go of your expectations of the end result and enjoy the present. When you are engaged in the moment, happy, and care-free you will be more likely to attract a loving partner.

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SF Dating Decoded

San Francisco has gotten some flack recently as being the top Snobbiest Cities in the US. Let’s be honest…we SF’ers kinda like our elite reputation. We’re a hotbed of intellectuals, techies, artists, chefs, sommeliers, and entrepreneurs. Our city is BEAUTIFUL, and most people you meet are fit, outdoorsy, and adventuresome because we have all the wonders of nature surrounding us. We are 7×7 miles packed full of a bunch of bad asses!! So why wouldn’t we want to wear the crown of the elite? Well, you know the saying: It’s lonely at the top.

Having interviewed and worked with hundreds of single men and women of all ages I hear a lot of  complaints from men and women. The most common of all are: Men say that women are not NICE when approached. Women say that men are not aggressive or confident enough.

Can you see the disconnect here?

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Let’s face it ladies, we are FIERCE. We have accomplished so much, traveled everywhere, and have tons of friends and activities to keep our calendars full outside of our busy work lives. We’re hard wired to be cautious when it comes to getting to know men.  Have you noticed how often men approach a woman only to have her immediately lean back and size him up? It’s what we do! He then has to overcome our skepticism and begin to prove that he’s not there to roofie our $20 artisan cocktail. From that point we might begin the interview process by asking what he does for a living. Guess what? He knows he’s being tested. Here’s the thing to know about SF guys: they are just as confident and sure of themselves as we are. If you put yourself in his shoes would you feel like dancing like a monkey to keep him entertained? Didn’t think so. So what happens is that after this dog and pony show goes down in flames too many times: Men. Stop. Trying. This is why as we approach the age that we actually want to go out and hunt for a boyfriend, all the dudes have their eyes fixed to the television or are off playing pool with their wolf pack.

So ladies, the next time a guy hovers next to you or makes some eye contact, give him a smile and say hello. He’ll then have the green-light to come up to you and show you what a catch he is.

Now, it’s not all our fault, ladies. Men could stand to own their role in the proverbial mating dance too. Listen guys, we know we can be a bit harsh at first, but it really doesn’t take a lot to bust down that icy wall. If you approach a woman and she gives you the stare-down, call her out! Seriously.  Don’t tell her to get that bitch look off her face or anything (that would be very, very bad), but flash a big smile and say “do I have something on my shirt?” then quickly introduce yourself and say something nice to her. She’ll respect that you acknowledged that she was sizing you up, but you can’t be intimidated by that! You’re going for it! And now that you have given her some validation, she’ll be inclined to reciprocate and give you a shot. The thing about SF ladies is that we want a man that has the cojones to stand up to us.  That doesn’t mean that, contrary to popular belief, that women are only attracted to jerks. We only want a man that can stand up to a little heat because we are after all, pretty hot to trot.

The lesson we learn from this is that as men and women, we have a responsibility to make the dating world a little less rough and tumble. We owe it to each other to be considerate, open, and direct.

Now that you are empowered with this knowledge and have some new guns in your dating arsenal, it’s time to get out and fire away! Visit therealmatchmaker.com to sign up for a sizzling Single to Mingle event where you can meet single professionals and show off your new moves!

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Rules Were Meant to be Broken

It never fails that at least once a day someone tells me about the methods, rules, and-dare I say-myths singles subscribe to on their quest for love. I always listen intently, waiting to hear how this little trick or test is the sure fire way to “figure women out” or “find out right away if he’s boyfriend material”. Now, before you write me off as Judgy McJudgerson, keep reading. Far be it from me to tell you how to live your life…HA! Yeahright. I LIVE to tell you how to live your life. Well, your love life anyway. Trust me, I’m on your side and I love you! That is why I must put the kibosh on this malarkey right here, right now.

This is business so I am bringing out the bullet points for dramatic effect and because I’m friggin’ serious:

  • You will know within 30 seconds if you feel physically attracted- If we only had 30 seconds to give an answer, the human race would have died out long ago. Obviously, you can tell if someone is hot or not at first glance. Fortunately for all of us, we have the ability to change our minds. Chances are it took a while (definitely more than 30 seconds!) to get the date lined up and you have already spent some time and money getting ready for the date (I hope!); So if you show up and your date doesn’t immediately light your fire, just relax and let go of your expectations. Without the pressure you can just enjoy getting to know the person. Worst case scenario, the night is pleasant at best. Best case scenario you start feeling warm and fuzzy mid-date and could just end up living happily ever after; Or maybe just making a new friend.
  • Wait 3 days before you call… B.K.A The 3 Day Rule-3 days!? That is an eternity when you want to know if someone is interested! Plus, it gives the person playing the waiting game WAY too much time to analyze. When rejection is looming defense mechanisms kick in and all kinds of assumptions are being made about why you haven’t called and why you aren’t good enough anyway. Hmpf! Not knowing if the other person likes you or when you will see them again sucks, so get on the horn no more than 2 days after and make an action plan for your next date.
  • The person must have/be (insert physical characteristic here)- This is usually height, weight, or race, so you get a pass if you are a woman that is over 5’10″ that wants a 6′+ guy, or if you have a very active lifestyle and want someone fit, or if you or your family have cultural objections to a particular race or religion*. It’s perfectly okay to have standards, but if you are hung up on a particular “look” or physical “type”  you might want to examine what qualities your ideal partner would possess. Physical attraction is vital to a romantic relationship, no doubt about it, but so are values, trust, humor, and a desire to look after each other’s needs. Take it from me, I was partial to Asian guys until I took a chance on a tall, bearded Jewish chap wearing a hot dog suit because his profile was well-written, hilarious, and endearing. Blah blah blah….and then I married him.
  • My friends and family have to approve first- If the person you are dating treats you like gold and leads a life that you approve of, but your friends or family give them the thumbs down, it is time to tell them what to do with that thumb! Friends and family try to look out for your best interests, but be wary if you see a theme that no one is ever good enough for you in their eyes. You may have to stop telling them about the details of your dating life if you feel that they are always throwing salt in your game. NEVER introduce your date to your family right away or “accidentally” bump into your best friends on your second night out. If your family or friends play too much of a roll in your decision making it will become tiresome to your partner and could cost you the relationship in the long run. Start setting boundaries with your loved ones now and try making relationship choices on your own or with the help of a professional.
  • I won’t have sex on the first date- This is actually a really good rule. Don’t break this rule.

*Race is a touchy subject. It could be that you have never been physically attracted, a cultural issue, the opinion of your family, etc. Bottom line: Be open minded and be true to yourself when it comes to dating outside of your race.

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