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Are you “flexible” when it comes to dating?

🔴Be more Flexible: You have to decide whether you want to find a real relationship based on liking someone for the qualities they have – that bring you joy or simply hold on to perfection till it comes your way. You may think you have clarity regarding the type of partner you want but has anyone really met all your dating preferences?
I spoke with a lovely woman yesterday who was not fully comfortable and happy with herself- yet she had all these dating preferences for someone else to meet. Do you have a clear understanding of who you are and what you have to offer someone else? Do you meet all the qualifications on your “preference list” you have for someone else?
I think it is our duty as humans to be flexible enough to accept others, getting some of what we want. You won’t find a single elite perfect man/woman easily. Trust me!

🔴The word “Settling” is such a harsh word.
The most common words I hear singles say is “I don’t want to settle.” Have you ever said that? Unfortunately, I think what most people are saying because they are exhausted with dating is…“I’m not giving up on the things I thought my ideal partner would have.” I think and hope what most people are trying to convey is that they don’t want to share their life with someone who doesn’t share their personal values. Much better said 🙏🏼
🔴Look, we all have fantasies and we all have our own “ideal” wish list. That’s what it means to be human and full of feelings. But I am asking you to “elevate” yourself because it’s important to come to grips with the fact that it’s important to be flexible on a few of those fantasy list items. If you’re out in the dating market and you’re not getting the responses you want, consider changing your approach. You may need to be more flexible…after all we are all only human.
🔴I understand we all want to hold onto our personal preferences — you’re welcome to stay single as long as you like in search of those attributes. But consider being more flexible, I think it will socially put you at ease and bring you more joy by meeting more people. It’s really up to you…it’s your life. 🤔Stay committed to your decisions, but stay FLEXIBLE in your approach… #flexible #Dating #singles #datescouting #professional 

Find love,


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Stop Comparing and You Will Find Love


(or to HER).

🤨This is a statement I hear all to often. Many people I talk to judge others harshly and decide ahead of time that no one can ever compare to him (or her). We all have that one person we can point to and say that’s my type… but is it really? I honestly don’t think people do this consciously, I think most people do it because it feels safe. Or maybe because you truly like the way he makes you feel…you swear your heart doesn’t lie! I’ve been there too!🥺

🤔I listen to people time and time again tell me a blown up story celebrating only his or her☝🏽highs conveniently forgetting his or her👇🏽downfalls. I mean is he or she really God’s gift to earth and was he or she really the greatest lover? Really?? 😍I have my own intense crush. And I too have absolutely gotten carried away with the fantasy of a man. As humans we all are creators, the mind is an amazing instrument. It’s easy to come up with a fiction version of him (or her), remembering him as the best you’ve ever had.

Sure it may sound cheesy but it’s true…and it happens.

When you’re comparing, nothing or nobody could ever be enough. And that is why most people are harshly judging others before even knowing their story.
People can be amazing, smart, and attractive and we still feel blah about them. They just aren’t Him ( or her). I think if I am being honest I know the man in my mind and in my heart is only human – with all kinds of flaws – yet I still idealize him (you may be doing the same subconsciously).

Healing has its own clock and sometimes it takes a while. Moving forward – it’s ok to keep the memory of someone special. It’s also important to learn how to compartmentalize in your heart (find room for others). And stop comparing…I will help teach your heart to be open to possibilities. It’s important that I keep you present and show you that someone “DIFFERENT can be oh so GOOD for you!!”. 



Jessie 🙂


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Men Are Always Interested In Your Natural Beauty

Natural Glow + Natural Hair + Beer 🍺 in Hand 

“Is Coming Back In Style” 🙌🏽
👉🏽 Most men are not picking up on the things we think they are about us ladies. In general men are wired to notice more obvious signs that convey interest in mating like a warm smile or bright eyes. So in other words he’s probably not noticing that your lipstick 💄 has faded. As of late I’ve talked to several men, and they tell me they could care less what lengh of hair you buy at the beauty supply store or what wig of the day you wear. In fact he may really enjoy your wild natural hair, this shows him your carefree and relaxed – which men really like. Ok let’s talk face 😳 with all the nuances in the make up world- I can never keep up with it. The sultry eye, the smoky eye, the double cut crease, the half cut crease, the glittery eye – Yada yada! There’s So much Makeup! I find that most men are more turned on by a more natural looking face (light makeup 👌🏽), your natural glow is really alluring. Over done makeup can be a deterrent to a man, It can discourage him from coming closer to you and going in for the kiss 😘. Showing affection by touching and being closer is exactly what men really want to do.
Natural beauty really entices men, they will tell you this time and time again.




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He Found His True Love


👉🏽Ray came to me very open hearted and somewhat defeated. He was so tired of living alone forcing himself to dress up for small talk on numerous 1st dates. Ray to my surprise was quite socially active – attended events, was on several dating sites and even joined a dating service. He was pretty exhausted from the dating process and didn’t want to hear just “lip-service” from me. I had the power to help and it was my job to show him his heart was safe and that I would protect it. 💞
👉🏽You see I can’t work with everyone, it is also important to me that I give my energy to people I feel a Real connection with. I want to be friends with you 1st, that’s the only way for me to truly understand what will make you happy in love. I want to know your ❤️ heart and you should know mine. Love doesn’t always happen in a timely manner for all my clients but IF they stay consistent with me, if they are open to possibilities and if they understand that sometimes it takes patience but when it happens… WOW! 😘
👉🏽After about 4 months of setting Ray up on dates and giving him constructive feedback- it came to me…🤔 I remembered a woman in the Southbay area. This was a woman I interviewed and invited to parties maybe 5 or 6 years ago – I remembered her as a lovely, kind hearted Therapist who had more than just one cat 🐈😳. I dug deep and finally came up with her name and information. I reached out to Madison, she was delighted that I remembered her and she gladly accepted a date with Ray. 💃🏽
👉🏽I happily Never heard from Ray again until their celebration of marriage and love 💕. I couldn’t be happier- both so deserving of an amazing life with someone special. 🙏🏼
👉🏽Tell me this… if love comes fast or slow does it really matter? Ray and Madison waited years and years for true love. Their smiles tell it all…what matters is that they found each other, giving both of them a new found Burst 💥of a Love Life Together.
👉🏽We had 1 engagement 💍 in October
👉🏽We had 1 couple elope 💍 in October
👉🏽And now 1 marriage 💍 in October
👉🏽Love is in the air!
👉🏽👉🏽👉🏽Find love the old fashion way, let a Matchmaker who cares Match You. 😘

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How to Approach the Pretty Woman in Room

Are you mentally prepared to pick up on a woman at a moment’s notice and talk to her? Do you know exactly what to do in order to get the ball rolling with her? Do you easily strike up conversations with women while you’re on the move? Your prepared enough with your approach that she finds you attractive?

When it comes to figuring out where to meet women, you have to understand that they are everywhere just waiting for you to approach them authentically. Did you read me…I said Authentically. These women want real conversation with real eye contact and real intentions.

As a Matchmaker we make the approach easy so you can focus on having an engaging conversation. If I can speak frankly I’d love to share a tidbit of very important information concerning your dating opportunities. Do I have your attention? Our amazing female clients are extremely excited to connect with you, they are sincerely looking to meet someone special. They can’t wait to laugh and love. If by chance you are not working with a Matchmaker then I urge you to approach and talk to women. Talk about whatever’s happening in the store, happening on the street, or maybe something significant that’s happening in the world. Tell a joke, make her laugh. Make fun of something that’s going on around you the two you but please, please stay away from cheesy pickup lines…unless you want to see her run away from you as fast as she can…I just think women are sick and tired of them. Straight talk with a little funny, upbeat sarcasm will serve you well.

I will encourage you to try more spontaneity in your approach? It’s ok to let the situation dictate your pickup approach? Most women love it when your more like yourself. Try smiling in her direction and throwing out a compliment to her.

Say something like, “Sorry to bother you, but I have a quick pasta question? Do you wait till the water boils before you put the noodles in?”

After she answers thank her and tell her, “I owe you a pasta dinner sometime”. If you’ve got an open window, take advantage of it wholeheartedly.

If you fear rejection, it will rear its ugly head, time and time again, and ruin your approach. There’s no other way to put it than being completely blunt…you have to always go for it. I do!

Stop trying to figure out what women really want, you’re not going to be successful with every woman every single time. And no man has ever mastered the “Women’s Code”. Let’s put it in baseball terms, try to bat at least .300. Sure, you’ll be rejected seven times but you’ll also go home with three new phone numbers in your phone. Oh hell yeah!

Lastly pay attention to a woman’s body language. The way a woman moves is keys. I encourage my clients to use their secret weapon…you know it and I know it, it’s all about the charming personality. Her body language will tell you if you’ve got her attention and it will also tell you if you haven’t got it. But it’s not a total lost cause…just because she is giving you the “not really vibe”, take your time and massage the conversation more. Remind yourself that women fall in love through their ears. The women I work with will always appreciate a man who is authentically trying to get to know them. If it seems like things are going well, make it a point to take things to the next level. It’s like building blocks, be playfully smart and curious that way you are growing the conversation. When you understand her personality type it is super easy to close the dating opportunity. Put a little more elbow grease into your dating approach, stand out from others… it won’t go unnoticed.

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My life is not different then yours in a lot of ways. You’re busy, you work hard-play hard, you love deep and you have little time for yourself. I’ve definitely had some hard moments this past year. Moments that have thrown me a little off balance. I noticed my energy and my vibration level was low and it started to affect my psyche. Even though I laughed and smiled all day long, I still felt sluggish inside. Some of the moments I went through were personal and some had to do with a relationship ending. I found myself also letting my own frustrations with being a newly single woman in her 40’s attribute to my sluggishness. The funny thing is I didn’t really see myself when I looked in the mirror. I made up all kinds of excuses in my own head. I’m sharing this because I know I’m not the only one blinded to the sluggish image in the mirror – not really coming full circle with how I may have been perceived. I was sabotaging my own healthy vibe. So at the end of August I knew I wanted to change. I wanted to push myself to feel my best. I made a conscience decision to attract more happy moments and build better relationships. I started a “30 day challenge”, challenging myself on September 6th. I am determined to raise my vibration and give my attitude a new positive outlook. I realized that I was not attracting the kind of people I wanted to attract, and I know that dating starts with ME. I can’t ask for something if I can’t offer the same in return. 

So I learned how to meditate in the morning (kinda getting better at it😏) and I now repeat positive affirmations daily. I made a kickass vision board. I started working out 6 days a week followed by a healthy eating plan. I am smiling all day-working on not judging. It’s been hard getting up at 5:30 am, sometimes I want to give up. But I crave change and by day 15 of my challenge I noticed a burst of energy running through my body and a healthier body forming. I’m smiling more, your only as good as you feel. I am liking the person I see in the mirror more, my spirit is lifting. I was excited pushing through my 30 day challenge.

And on day 29… I received the ultimate compliment… a cute guy in line at the store said to me, “You must of had a great workout because you’re glowing”. I smiled from ear to ear 😁

…And said, “Thanks, I’m just loving myself more”.😘

I am excited to continue my path of raising my positive vibration and working on my continual Weightloss/better health. 💪🏽 

I am looking to attract the right people for me when I am at my Best.

Are you at your Best? 
Take your own 30 day challenge to a better you. 🙌🏽 

(ask me how to get started)

Live your best life,


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Successful People Seeking Romantic Relationships


I don’t know many successful people that rely on luck. Most of them make a plan, hire out for the best results and push forward towards their goals. It’s like a well oiled machine – efficiency is everything. I think its fair to assume that busy professionals spend endless hours thinking about how to grow business and not which way to swipe on a dating app. In the business world there are many early mornings and even more late nights, leaving very little time for a personal life. There are no shortcuts to a place worth going to. 


Technology has changed all of our lives so much so that if you are a high quality successful single business person you barely have time to breath. Never mind figuring out these forever changing gadgets and dating apps, with so much available and ever changing we rarely slow down to think of how it’s impacting finding real love. How many of us can honestly say that the Swipe right-Swipe left phenomenon, is really adding to our lives. I think many of us would argue that dating apps have maybe negatively affected the search for finding love. After all it capitalizes on the idea that quantity vs. quality is better. Yet I think most would say dating apps are exhausting and they are time guzzlers and more times than not they bring disappointment. Most online gadgets are designed to keep you swiping right and left rather than help you find the right match – the apps defense is that they think quantity is king . And all this does is it creates the “next best thing” effect, which undoubtably causes us to focus on superficial qualities or instant chemistry. Which brings me to my point…most high quality successful singles understand that lasting, committed relationships take time, they take hard work that it requires trust and dedication. Success is usually never gained with just a swipe and rarely if ever happens instantly.


As a matchmaker for the last 23 years, I like to think my job is very important… it’s a journey, a journey we take together. I love meeting happy successful singles that are open to possibilities and believe in work hard-play hard method. The ones who do not believe in smoke and mirrors they just give you straight talk and they like having a dating road map (it’s the little details that really matter). As a matchmaker it’s my job to relieve you of the driver seat position. I know it’s important to give you the time to focus on your success in business and not on whether or not you are going to run into someone special. On this journey we will follow your personalized dating map, I will introduce you to wonderful beautiful people…people you will usually not run into on your own. Because as a busy professional we know that most the people you run into maybe during a meeting or at a conference and the chances are slim that you want to date someone from work. Knowing this makes me even more focused to finding you lasting, exclusive commitments – pulling out all the stops so you don’t miss out. Busy executives don’t want to deal with the day in the day out of trying to find that special person. So as a matchmaker I try to create an environment that makes getting to know each other exciting, comfortable and enjoyable. Listen, the hardest part of dating as a successful professional is not really the “dating” part – it’s the time factor, the outcome. Successful people are usually rushing around making the most of their time. I understand this and I honor their professional mindset. Executives rarely have time to go out and meet new people in bars or clubs there just isn’t enough time in the day nor is that their focus. They usually have little time and effort to date and quality plus a true connection is most important to them.


I enjoy working with successful go-getters. There is always a reason that they are on the top of the corporate ladder. They are most always driven, persistent and they ooze confidence at work. If I ask them they most likely know what they want in life and will do anything in their power to get it.

If you are high-quality successful Single I encourage you to sit down with me. Let’s talk about your personal journey and what that looks like to you. I look forward to helping you find your road map to love.

Warm Regards,



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The Real Matchmaker™ Jessie Kay Takes the Stress Out of Finding Love With Her Matching Services

The Short Version: Busy professionals often lack the time to go on date after date looking for the perfect partner. That’s where The Real Matchmaker Jessie Kay comes in to help them cut through the quantity and find quality matches. She and her small team of dedicated matchmakers teach men and women in metropolitan areas around the world how to find love. The Real Matchmaker offers a concierge experience, and Jessie gets to know each client to understand their desires and show them how to present their best selves to prospective dates.

“I thought I would be alone forever.”

That’s a line from a lovely letter that Jessie Kay, The Real Matchmaker, received from an ecstatic client who is moving in with a guy who Jessie picked out for her. The lucky lady, Madison, said she’s in a great relationship with a compatible partner for the first time. They have great conversations about their passions, participate in activities they enjoy, and make plans for the future.

Photo of Jessie Kay, Founder of The Real Matchmaker

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt so completely happy with somebody before,” said Madison. Hers is just one of the many success stories that Jessie has heard from satisfied clients.

Jessie is effective as a matchmaker because of the communication skills she learned growing up. She was adopted and didn’t naturally share race, skin color, or style with the other members of her family. But she learned how to fit in with her family so she didn’t feel left out, socially. Eventually, she developed empathy for those who tried hard but couldn’t fit in.

As Jessie approached adulthood, she became proficient in making herself likable. “Once I realized my power and energy, I became one of the most popular people in my graduating class,” she said. Because she was proficient in making herself — and others — likable, Jessie chose a career path where likeability and helping others were two significant parts of the job.

Jessie got her start more than two decades ago with Great Expectations, the nation’s oldest and largest dating agency. She then set out on her own, founding The Real Matchmaker to work closer with her clients to help them find love.

A Unique Concierge Service Run By a Small Team

Jessie works one-on-one with clients to connect with them personally and to better identify the right person with whom to match them.

“I hold my clients’ hands through one-on-one matchmaking, and I pride myself on actually working for them,” she said.

Because of the time-intensive nature of her work, Jessie limits intake of new clients to just three or four a month. “It’s important that we have a real relationship — or even friendship — so that finding love for them becomes more organic, she said.”

She has two team members who assist her by scouting dates. The pair is a bubbly duo who work tirelessly meeting people and compiling information about their interests, so they can make the most suitable matches.

Jessie loves matching her clients with someone who is likely to become a long-term partner, and she said forming friendships with her clients is one of the most rewarding parts of their journey together. As she brings on each new client, she listens to their stories of past successes and failures in romantic relationships. Then they discuss how the person has changed and grown throughout their journey in love, and what they’re currently looking for in a partner.

As a part of her service, Jessie also helps each person look and feel their best with a makeover and photo session. She wants all of her clients to have attractive photos that will accompany the other information potential matches receive.

In addition to helping them look beautiful or handsome on the outside, Jessie helps clients learn to show their inner beauty through coaching, deep conversations, and role-playing. These exercises help them build the confidence they need to make a great first impression and experience fewer pre-date jitters that often creep up.

Jessie’s Dinner Date For Eight parties provide clients an opportunity to refine and sharpen their social skills — as well as the chance to meet someone. The dates are held at trendy restaurants around Los Angeles and Orange County, and each includes four women and four men. Diners are hand-picked by Jessie to ensure that a great vibe is present at the meal and that the conversation never lulls.

Five-Star Matchmaking for Busy Professionals

Jessie works with attractive and successful singles in major metropolitan cities, including New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, San Francisco, and Washington, DC. She also has international clients in locations like France and Spain.

Photo of a Jessie Kay Instagram post

Jessie has been a part of 73 engagements as a matchmaker, which she recently celebrated in an Instagram post.








Over the years of working with clients, Jessie has earned many positive online reviews, including a stellar rating on Yelp, where clients detail the benefits they’ve seen from working with Jessie. Many praise her intuitive ability to match people, her friendliness, and her focus on bringing out the positivity in people.

Jessie is active on social media, too, where she shares practical tips for dating and life. She engages followers on both Facebook and Instagram.

One recent post congratulated a pair of her clients who got engaged, and when they tie the knot, the happy couple will be the 73rd marriage for The Real Matchmaker.

Coming Soon: Seminars and Peer Reviews

Jessie is developing seminars for singles to expand the scope of her matchmaking service, and help both current and potential clients. She described them as “How am I doing?” seminars and said they will allow singles to see which areas they excel in — and which parts of dating with which they may need help.

The seminar will relate to their experience as a single person in the dating world, and participants will receive feedback from a panel of people of the opposite gender.

“I can’t tell you how much good energy and satisfaction I receive from each person I work with.” Jessie Kay, The Real Matchmaker

“The goal is for attendees to use the feedback to become the best they can be at enticing and attracting the mate they want,” she said. She added that she believes this method will lead to greater success for singles as they search for love.

The journey to finding love is not always clear-cut or easy, but Jessie believes it’s the only one in life which really matters.

“I can’t tell you how much good energy and satisfaction I receive from each person I work with,” she said.

JESSIE KAY’S Article (TAP ON THE WORD ARTICLE TO SEE US ON DATINGADVICE.COM by: Charlotte Edwards is a Contributor who enjoys writing about cross-cultural marriage, personal finance, and parenting. Often she combines all three as she shares her experiences going through this crazy adventure called life. Although her most recent dating adventures are limited to at home date nights with her husband of 10 years, she stays current on the latest research, advice, and apps to keep her relationship strong.


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Dating can be FUN!

Approaching someone for the first time can be tricky. How do you go about it, what do you say to someone that could be flirty enough but doesn’t come across as creepy or annoying. In a sea full of singles and corny pickup lines, how do you stand out? The usual approach is to just go straight up and say a simple Hello, followed by the usual ‘How are you, what do you like to do for fun’ this kind of conversation can be construed as mundane chitchat right?! It’s 2018 come with the funny and up your dating game!
Push the envelope by striking up a conversation that catches someone off-guard.
I found 7 funny pickup lines that are great icebreakers. Nothing makes for a more interesting conversation starter than a little sassy or dirty birdie talk.
🤪California classic, everyone has a dog.
“That’s a cute dog, does it have a name and phone number”
🤪Hit them with a vain comment.
“What’s a smart, good looking person like myself doing without your number…just saying”
🤪Everyone likes some sort of sweets.
“You’re like ice cream 🍦, even when you’re bad…you’re so Good”
🤪Slide in to home plate. “You see my friend over there is shy. He asked me to ask you if you think I’m attractive”
🤪Follow you anywhere comment.
“I’m going on a long walk (extend your hand out) can you hold this?”
🤪Daredevil “Listen, you are beautiful and honestly that’s the least interesting thing about you”
🤪Confidence is Everything!
“So, where are you from? Why do I ask such a mundane question you ask? Because you look Amazing and I want to get to know you sincerely”
MORAL OF THE STORY… Take the chance and approach someone wholeheartedly and with a sense of humor.

Laughing is ALWAYS the best medicine.
➡️We are looking for SINGLES for our clients. Please fill out a confidential profile “Let’s see who’s looking for you”💕⬅️
🔴If you are a match we will complementary set you up🔴
Hit Link Here to Fill Out a Confidential Profile 
Thanks for reading!

Love, Jessie

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How to Make Good Choices for Your Love Life

🙆🏽‍♀️How big of an age range do you think is reasonable when dating in today’s world? I talk to many singles who are open to dating someone 10 years younger but can’t fathom dating someone 10 years older. Are we becoming ageist? Or is this the new normal?

>Is it ok to called out on your age choices?

>Do you think by mid life most people know what works for them and what doesn’t?

I know I know, we all have our “ideal preferences”… but is that laundry list so long, so detailed that it’s keeping you out of the dating game?

It is my belief that the way we perceive ourselves and those we ‘think’ we should be with have a significant impact on the life we manifest.

When we wait for the perfect partner we may find ourselves making any number of excuses to put our lives on hold in the meantime.

Well, I’m here to encourage you to commit yourself to looking at dating as an opportunity, one that may lead to new energy in your life.

🤦🏽‍♀️ Release preconceived notion‘s


🙅🏽‍♀️Leave old routines in the past


💁🏽‍♀️ View each day as an opportunity

Are you open to possibilities? Join our free confidential database and “Let’s see who’s looking for you!”



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