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She said “YES” to a 2nd Date… Now What Guys?



You made it through the first date with a woman you really like.  She also gave you a kiss at the end of the night and accepted your request for a second date. You’re the Man! Now, use this time wisely and figure out if you really have chemistry together. It can be hard to figure out chemistry on a first date because its not always based on physical attraction alone. On your second date, do something fun like a activity or a walk to a cozy restaurant where you can share food.  This will be a more comfortable outing and give you both a chance to share more of your true personalities towards each other. Its time to get playful guys!

Use your second date to help you get to know if she likes your personality, your looks and your presence.  Its not all about her guys, its also your time to take mental notes and see if she is a good match for you.


  •  If you’re an outdoorsy guy, ask her on a date to do something like fishing or hiking, biking, then have a nice picnic together. That way you will know if she shares your passions and interest.
  • If you’re a hands on guy with an adventurous side think about trying a pottery classes (you remember the sexy scene in Ghost), cooking classes, gun range, golf range, and painting classes are all fun to do together. These kind of activities will help you create good memories with your date and you will discover if you both play well together.

By doing this you will learn more about her, it will differ based on what activity you choose for your second date.  I can tell you one thing though, you will still learn much more about your date by doing an activity then just confined to generic dinner date conversation.  Sky is the limit when you push the envelope and differentiate yourself from other dates she has been on in her past.

Until next time, good luck!

Always in love with love, 



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Single Dad’s, Good To Date- Happy Father’s Day!

Very often, people – especially if they don’t have kids of their own – are apprehensive about dating single parents. Dating a parent, by all outward appearances, looks like a situation that is automatically more complicated, which means more likely for it to not work out, and when it inevitably doesn’t work out, there are potentially a greater number of people involved who could get hurt. Harsh but true.

Dating a single parent is can be the greatest thing ever, and I feel bad that so many of you might be missing out. I know you’re inclined not to believe me right now. Here are 10 good reasons why… Bam!


1) Birth control: They take it seriously, they understand that having a child is a Huge responsibility.

Guess who never forgets to use condoms?

2) They’re less likely to rush into things; they take the time to get to know you before introducing you to his kids.

By taking your time to get to know him, you will be creating this a satisfying respect and likeness first.  A combination of “can’t get enough of each other” and “not having infinite time to spend together” equals “always wanting more”. Which is hot and romantic.

3) Their bags, home and car are like survival kits– everything except the kitchen seat.

There is nothing he doesn’t have, he comes first aid ready.

4) They take there time and have been known to be really good in the bed

You’re just infinitely more aware of yourself, and far less self-conscious. There is no way, no matter the specifics of how you like to get down, that that doesn’t result in some next-level sex action.

5) They know what makes a relationship work and they are not afraid to go for it

Just having a child at all teaches you, “holy crap, everything about human connections and interactions and how to be healthy, generous but also self-preserving, committed and flexible”.

6) They have excellent boundaries and respect your boundaries

Establishing good boundaries with others and your kids can be tricky, although single dads seem to love being cautious with your time and feelings.

7) Contrary to myths, single dads are not shopping for a new mom for their kids

Maybe we will fall gloriously in love, and you will become part of my family, and end up having a meaningful relationship with his child, and even become friends with his ex wife and we’ll all have this big modern family with lots of people engaging in highly evolved relationships and enjoying all the growth and joy that comes from that.

8) They understand selflessness and sharing 

I mean, that doesn’t mean every single parent you date is going to be selfless with you, but chances are, they are at least capable of it.

9) They’re more aware of what they want and who they want to be 

Single parents tend to be really good at knowing what they want, but not being too stubbornly attached to getting exactly that.

10) They have more structure and empathy 

Single Dads are on a schedule and they have to deal with a lot more bumps, bruises and hiccups.


So next time a single Dad asks you out make sure you celebrate his very dateable qualities.


To all the Dad! Happy Fathers Day!

Always in love with love,


Experienced Matchmaker for 18 years


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She Says “I am Just Looking To Make New Friends”

Are you getting friend zoned when you go out? More and more men are complaining about women at organized singles events, which are meant for meeting someone to date. Men have told me that lately when they have approached single women at these events, they get responses like “I am only here to make friends.” Well, I am going to give it to you straight guys! In some fashion she is right, she is there to make friends, when it comes to YOU. That doesn’t mean she isn’t looking for a relationship or a new dating experience…I mean she is at a singles event after all.

This is just a nice way of saying she isn’t interested. As a Dating Coach I always encourage women to be honest when they are not interested in a guy, but sometimes telling someone to their face that “your just not my type” isn’t always easy to say.

By know means does this mean there is something wrong with you. She is just not the one, so move on to a woman who is looking for a relationship…with a guy like you.

Always in love with love! 


]Expert Matchmaker with 18 years of experience


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Are You Undateable?

Are You Undateable?

You know the song, “Sea of love where everyone would like to drown”!    Are you still standing on the shore alone?  Have you thought about why?  Maybe it’s time to go over some of the reasons why you might be undateable.

Being honest with yourself is important.  Just because you’ve been on a date or two, but were rejected for the next or follow-up date, there is a reason.  You may be undateable.  Going over what you do and do not do on your dates gives you an outline of the possibilities of why you are undateable.  Are you a lady or a gentleman?  Do you say things that are a turn off?  Do you dress appropriately?  Are you a slob or look like a street walker?   What you wear, what you say and what you do make you dateable or undateable.

If you are talking about a bad break up on your date, your ex, how he/she was in bed,   it’s a turn off!  You are undateable!  Do you practice the golden rule, even in bed – do unto others as you’d have them do unto you?  Do you have a great kiss, as a kiss without a French kiss, is not a kiss.  Where do you draw the line?

Do you have passion or are you just in it for the sex?   Are you desperate?  Using that excuse, “I have to get up early for a meeting tomorrow”, or “I have a headache, I’m really tired”.  It’s worn out, it’s cliché, and that next date – well, you know the answer.

Breaking bad habits may be difficult, but extremely important if you are looking for a relationship, that starts with being dateable.   Contact us at for a personal consultation or for meet your matchmaker day, and we will make sure you are on your way for that date you’ve always been looking for, and “drowning in the sea of love”.

Always in love with love! 


Expert Matchmaker for 18 years 



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Creative Ideas For Meeting Single Men & Women


THE REAL MATCHMAKER – Creative Ideas for meeting single men and women

Whew!  Being single is like a part-time job. If you have been looking to find love “in all the right places”, but it hasn’t happened, here are a few fun and creative ideas for meeting men and women.

Starting with a few small steps goes a long way.  The key to meeting someone naturally is always, always, look good and don’t forget your best accessory “Your smile.”  There is competition, and you don’t want to be bypassed because of sweat pants, flip flops and unwashed hair!  A good place to meet men is at the market/grocery store, the smaller one’s — they like to get in and get out.  Probably later in the day is better, as they usually want to just get it done.  The hardware store is also a place that you can innocently ask for that little bit of advice or a tip, from that guy in the aisle that caught your eye.  

Have you forgotten about the library or bookstore?  This is a fun and creative idea for meeting men.   These men are usually the intelligent type and it’s a nice, quiet environment.  If a charity is interesting to you, it is one of the best places to meet men.   Men doing charity work is a good indicator that they are the emotionally available type.  Why not do a little charity work yourself?  It could be fun!   Have you thought of going to a tech store, such as Apple?   Just look inside.  They are full of men, and what an easy place to start up a conversation – there’s so many “how to questions”, that could help spark a conversation.  

While eating alone in a restaurant isn’t really fun, it can be creative if you have a strategy in place.  It just may be the place you meet that special man.  You took the risk and it worked!  Every man likes his steak every once in a while.  Go to a steak restaurant, and sit at a table near the bar, not the bar.  There you will have the prime position to check out all the men eating and drinking at the bar.  Once you have eye contact, it will be easy for the next step.  Men are more likely to approach you when you are alone and you don’t want to be with a friend that could be your competition!

OK ladies, if you have tried and tried, but still feel that you need that extra, personal touch, is your home.  Why wait, when you could be in love by the end of the year and who knows what next Valentine’s will be like?

For all the men out there, where have you been looking?  If you have a dog, don’t just walk down the street, go to a dog park.  What a fun and creative way to meet women and have your dog do a little socializing as well.  There are so many women there.  Starting up a conversation couldn’t be easier — what a beautiful dog, how old is your dog?   There is no better way to relax and get pampered than getting a manicure and pedicure (without the polish guys).   It’s no longer a “woman thing”.  You may have worked in the garden or changed the oil in your car and need to clean up.   Go for it, pamper yourself.  You’ll be in a roomful of women.  It’s a fun and creative idea for meeting women.  Your friends may tease you, but if you end up with a prize, they may try it themselves, and not admit to it.

Maybe you need to stay in shape but sweating at the gym is too much.  Try a fun and creative idea to meet women at dance classes.  You’ll be swinging to the music, shedding a few pounds, and up close and personal with your lady partners.   After that, if you enjoy wine, go to a wine tasting, it’s a little classier than the bar, and the women have a more sophisticated taste.  


Have you experimented with a few ways to meet people?  Have you run out of ideas?  If you ever need advice or that extra push, is the place to find great ideas, great service, and the love you’ve always been looking for.

Always in love with love! 


Expert Matchmaker for 18 years 

LA/OC locations 

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Share the Love on Valentines Day!

Whether you are single or taken, Valentine’s Day can stir up a slew of emotions that far from warm and fuzzy. Valentine’s Day can be a reminder that your current partner isn’t meeting your expectations and if you are single, seeing all the schmoopy Facebook comments from attached friends and family is enough to send you into an emotional tail-spin. The good news is, Valentines day isn’t just for lovers. Here at The Real Matchmaker, we like to think that Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love in and of itself! Here are some sure-fire ways to make your heart melt on Valentine’s Day, regardless if you have a sweetheart.

Happy Valentines Day

Play Cupid-Chances are you know a few other folks who are feeling a bit blue today. Surprise your lonely friends with a simple bouquet of flowers, or a small box of chocolates and write them a little love note. After all, part of the fun on Valentine’s Day is surprising the ones you love with a token of your affection!

Create a Tradition-When I lived in my home town, I would take my grandmother to her favorite Tea Room for lunch on Valentine’s Day. We would get all gussied up in our Valentine’s Day attire and talk about love. I will always cherish these memories and they are certainly some of the best Valentine’s Days I have ever had. Other ideas are taking Valentines cookies to your niece/nephew/god child’s class room, or volunteering at a community center.

Write Yourself a Love Letter- When you’re single it is so important to love yourself! Get some fancy stationary paper and write yourself a valentine note listing all the things you love about yourself and all the things you love about your life with YOU! You can seal it up and save it to read next year on Valentine’s Day.

Pamper Yourself-Go for a spa treatment, get your hair done, enjoy a mani/pedi. Not only will you feel awesome, your confidence will get a boost by sprucing up your look a bit. If you’re really feeling racy, go buy yourself a new piece of lingerie. Just because you don’t have someone to flaunt it for doesn’t mean you can’t still feel sexy!

HAVE FUN! Rally up your single pals and go out for a night on the town. Have dinner and drinks at a fancy restaurant or do a love-themed pot-luck. Make sure to tell each person why you love them!

We’re wishing all of you love bugs a Happy Valentine’s Day!



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Why Do Women See Men as Fixer-Uppers?







Why Do Women See Men as Fixer-Uppers?

As an expert matchmaker, I really had to think long and hard about this question.

Are women all really looking for the perfect man? After all, we are ransacked daily with the likes of Hollyhunks like George Clooney, Brad Pitt and David Beckman.

Most men feel like they don’t have a chance.

Women are taught to look for a man with good character and determined work ethics.

It’s not so much about changing your chivalrous personality for us. It may be more about shaping you into the image of our ideal man.

The good news is most women have a habit of always seeing the good or the potential in men. We see ruff spots on the surface and we want to sand them off, or at least sand them down so the imperfections don’t show as much.

It’s always important for women and men to understand that compromising and being somewhat flexible in a relationship is key.

Men should take it as a compliment that women want to bring out the best version of them. That means she cares.

 “Regardless of the stage of your

relationship, always be open-minded.”

Check out the rest of my blog on Click here to read more.

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Peyton Manning should be a role model for your social life.

How prepared are you to go out there and meet women on a daily basis?

How much work do you actually do before you go out on a Friday night, or do you just go out cold?

The guy who just goes out cold on a Friday night and the guy who didn’t flirt all week are usually the guys standing at the back of the bar, mentally masturbating about the hot women they’re seeing.

They’re trying to think of what to say. They’re waiting for the right minute to talk to somebody. Then they go home frustrated and annoyed at the end of the night without connecting with a single woman.

Men who go out every single day and flirt with women and talk to women are comfortable by the time Friday night rolls around.

They’ve already been speaking to women all week, so they have no problem walking over to any hot woman in the bar on a Friday night when game time comes.

“If you’re not doing the preparation, you’re going to be awful on game night.”

That’s what life’s about.

If you’re not doing the preparation during the week, you’re going to be awful on game night.

Think about Peyton Manning. He’s been playing in the NFL for 15 years or so. He practices every single week, even though he could probably just show up at this point in his career.

But he gets into the flow of the practice, and each week is a different practice session for a different team and a different game plan.

Why do you think it’s going to be different with you meeting women? Why do you think you can get away without putting in the work? Why do you think you can cheat the system of life?

You can’t!

Preparation is what life is all about. The more you prepare, the better chance of you succeeding come game time, yet so many of you don’t prepare. So many of you don’t do the small things, and so many of you blame others for not being successful.

It’s time to take action, and it’s time to take full responsibility for where your social life is heading! Great dating article from 

Bet on “YOURSELF” this year!


Expert Matchmaker for LA and OC 


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Find Love Before Valentine’s Day! ♥




As Valentine’s Day approaches, many singles are reminded that another year has gone by and they have yet to find “The One”. Instead of getting down on yourself, use this upcoming holiday as a little extra push to reevaluate your approach to dating.



Dating Tips that work: 

Love yourself. Concentrate on things you enjoy, such as your career, friends, family and interests. When you appreciate the good things in your life and make yourself happy, people perceive you as a confident, healthy person that they would like to get know.

Be prepared. You never know when or where you’ll meet someone.Maybe running an errand or just hanging with friends? Make the extra effort to shower, wear nice clothes, freshen up, be a sweet talker and smile at everyone– you will be glad you did when you find yourself in conversation with an eligible cutie.

Mix things up a bit. Always going to the same coffee shops, restaurants, or bars? Taking the same route when running or walking your dog? Try something different and open up the opportunity to see some new faces. If you do meet someone of interest, flirt and show them your pearly whites! It’s fun, typically harmless and lets people know that you’re available and open to making new connections.

Have fun. Find and participate in clubs and group activities that you’re interested in and enjoy. This could include volunteering, cooking classes, sports teams, speed dating, mingling gatherings, hiking groups, wine tastings, whatever you like! This is a great way to meet someone special, because you already have a shared interest. Plus, you look great when you’re enjoying yourself!

Make a new friend. Although you may not be interested in this person romantically, they could easily be the connection between you and your future boyfriend/girlfriend. Think of all the couples you know that have met through a friend of a friend…they too started by making a friend first. Set a goal this month to make at least 5 new friends.

Finally, stop looking so hard! Go out with friends just to enjoy each others’ company, not to look for dates. The times when you’re not looking at all are when you are the most appealing, because you are free to be yourself without the pressure of trying to impress someone. This shows people that you have other things going on in your life besides trying to find a date, which is very attractive to both men and women.


Summary: Make yourself happy, look your best, switch up your routine, do group activities you enjoy, make a new friend, don’t try so hard and don’t put so much pressure on yourself.

Sharpen up your dating skills 

To do list: 

*Add “flirty” conversation to your dates. Example: “When was your 1st crush? Your 1st kiss”? “What is the most romantic thing that you have ever done”? “What is the riskiest thing you have ever done for love”? “What is your favorite part on your body”? “Is it hot in here (fan yourself and smile)”?

*Make sure to follow up on questions, once they are answered. Keep the conversation flowing by being curious and genuinely interested in your date.

*Learn to compliment the person in front of you. Don’t be afraid to push the envelope by saying, “I love your eyes, they could be your secret weapon”, “Your smile is beautiful, its a little infectious”, “I feel really good being here with you”. 

Love is in the air! 


Expert Matchmaker for The Real Matchmaker LA and OC


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Finding Love on Christmas

Sometimes finding love and the right connection takes time. It stinks not knowing when love is going to walk through our door, but you have to have perseverance and keep confident that it WILL happen. As an Expert Matchmaker and Dating Coach I often have to remind my clients to smile at everyone, keep your enthusiasm and don’t compare your love life or your journey to others.  

Whether you’ve been “naughty or nice”, Christmas and New Year’s Eve seem to be the hardest holidays to get through when you’re single. Keep in mind that these holidays are only a few weeks out of the year, are highly commercialized, and put a lot of pressure on people. Keep things in perspective.

I always encourage my clients to make plans with or without a relationship, this will help to relieve a lot of the pressure. Join others and share in the festivities–I bet there are others that would want to share in the holiday spirit with you and you might get lucky! Try not to overdo it. You may end up creating too high of expectations or exerting too much pressure. We often can create an image of how we think things should be and become so immersed in it, we forget to enjoy and appreciate what’s in front of us. 

 Think of the holidays as a time to meet someone, rather than a time to be lonely so “hit the road Jack!”… Plan to attend holiday parties for singles, such as mixers, speed dating, ice skating, white elephant gift exchanges, grab someone special and give a kiss while standing under the mistletoe, the list goes on. ‘Tis the season for gifting, so whatever your relationship status, always remember to treat yourself to something nice. I always do! 

Merry Christmas and Blessing to all!

Jessie The Matchmaker ♥

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