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Age is just a numbers game

“I’ve always found it difficult to identify with men in their 30’s” Says 34 year old Melissa. Melissa is is a tall thin brunette, with understated style wearing black skinny jeans, a blue cashmere sweater that drapes around her collar bone, and nude Tori Burch ballet flats. She works passionately as a full time consultant for a prominent software company in Silicon Valley, but her real joy is in raising her eight year old daughter from her first marriage. Melissa is not your typical mid-thirties Bay Area woman. She prefers to spend her free time at the ballet, enjoying a quiet leisurely dinner with a close friend at a new restaurant, or at the theater. “I would rather put my head in a vice than go to a bar to meet guys!” Melissa laughs, “When I meet guys my age they are usually in a different place in their lives-still wanting to rage with their friends on the weekend, going to loud concerts, or snowboarding in Tahoe. Those things are fine for some people, but it’s just not who I am.” It’s for those reasons that Melissa has had the most success dating men in their 40’s who may have like her, divorced and are raising children.

Age is just a numberMany women in their 40’s and 50’s assume that men in their age range are automatically going to opt for dating women in their 30’s. “That is certainly not the case”, says John, a fit all-American looking 54 year old CFO. “I want a woman who I can identify with. It’s nice if she understands what raising kids is all about, but I still want to go out and have fun! I would love to meet a woman my age who looks great, has a fun and positive attitude, and wants a loving affectionate relationship. Sure, women in their 30’s are attractive and fun to date for a little while, but it never works out because we are at different stages in our lives”

The bottom line, is that there are very few singles out there who are true “age-ists”, dating those only who are within a chronological age range. The vast majority of singles are open to dating someone a few years outside of their age range if their level of attraction and lifestyles mirror each other. “I still want to ‘match’ my partner when we are walking down the street together” says Melissa “I’d be mortified if someone mistook my partner for being my father!”

Determining the right age range for yourself is less about the actual number, but your relationship history, goals, lifestyle and interests. When you keep in mind that age is incredibly subjective, especially after 45, you open yourself up to more opportunities to meet someone who shares your values and relationship goals!

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PRESS RELEASE: Dating Coaches at The Real Matchmaker Announce New Website Redesign

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The Real Matchmaker, a Californian team of dating coaches and image consultants, is pleased to announce the unveiling of its recently remodeled website, The responsive, reader-friendly web design and new logo gives the company fresh, memorable branding. Additionally, new site organization makes it easy for clients and visitors to find information about The Real Matchmaker, view a schedule for singles social events, and read up on tips for successful dating.


The Real Matchmaker is a highly personalized dating and image consultant service operating in San Francisco, Orange County, and Los Angeles. The agency works to connect single professionals through a number of services, including:


  • One-on-one date coaching
  • Image consulting
  • Physical training and nutrition
  • Creative date ideas and planning
  • Interest-based events for singles
  • Online dating profile tips
  • Women’s roundtable workshops (“Let’s Talk about Men”)
  • Beauty Camp
  • Wingman outings and “Get the Girl: Dating Strategy” programs
  • Personal date scouting
  • And more


The website renovation was motivated in part by the desire to reflect the matchmaking service’s professional and unique approach. CEO Jessie Kay and COO Anni Powers believe in the advantage a hands-on, holistic approach to relationships has over many online services that rely on algorithms and surveys. The Real Matchmaker meets each member personally, giving dating tips and advice and working to find clients genuine connections.


In addition to a modern look and reworked logo, the website has a dynamic events calendar to announce singles events in the area and a dating coach blog updated regularly by Kay and Powers. Both are active participants in The Real Matchmaker’s services, hosting dinners, meeting clients, and acting as a dating and relationship coach to many local professionals.


“Now, our website mirrors our work – interesting, fun, effective, and helpful,” said Powers. “I believe it’s just one more way we can help our clients meet professional singles and find the healthy, lasting relationships they desire.”


Learn more or join The Real Matchmaker’s network by contacting the personal dating coaches at 855-664-4LUV or through their online form. Los Angeles and Orange County professionals are encouraged to contact Jessie Kay at, while interested individuals in San Francisco can reach Anni Powers at

Jessie Kay

The Real Matchmaker


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Passion not perfection!

As a matchmaker and date scout, I interview A LOT of women and talk about the types of single men they would like to date.  One of the first qualities they desire in a partner is passion, not physical passion (well, that’s important too!), but passion for life itself. Being a single man, a successful career and taking care of your physical appearance are important; but when women describe men they’ve found irresistible the quality that made them fall head over heels was that he was interesting and had elements of his life outside of work and family that set him apart from other men.

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You don’t have to compete in triathlons or have climbed Mt Kilimanjaro to show that you have a zest for life. Instead you may dedicate your free time to charity work or maybe you are really proud of all the work you’ve done growing a vegetable garden.  Any dating coach and professional matchmaker will tell you that having a multifaceted life is not only healthy for your personal fulfillment, but is also vital and necessary in attracting an extraordinary partner.

So what are you to do if you don’t have any interests that really excite you? Short answer: Find some stat! There are a number of reasons that you haven’t prioritized your hobbies and interests.  Don’t let your busy work and social life stand in your way.  Think about all the things you have wanted to learn more about or try. Start small by going to a museum lecture or join an organization that hosts weekly activities. This will not only inspire you, but you will become more enthused about your new experiences and will have some fun and entertaining stories to share on your dates!


For more great dating insights and tips for singles in San Francisco contact Anni at!

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Who Doesn’t Want to Be More Charismatic?


If you are single and in the Los Angeles or San Francisco area then you know how unbelievably difficult it is to meet quality singles… Now add quality singles with charisma. Of course it looks so easy when we see that cool, confident person walk in the room. I know most of us wish we had mesmerizing charismatic effects on the opposite sex, like George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Bill Clinton, Madonna, Sofia Vergara and the Charlize Theron’s of the world (it would make dating a heck of a lot easier). Well believe it or not, these famous sexy, charismatic people where not always irresistible sex symbols. They, just like me and you, had to work at being magnetic.

What makes you attractive to the opposite sex even if you’re not the best looking person? What moves people to take notice of you wherever you are? What invisible “mojo magic” can mesmerize, seduce, motivate and persuade other attractive singles to notice you. It’s charisma, non the less; its so powerful yet can’t be seen or even touched but we all know when someone has it.

As Expert Matchmakers at The Real Matchmaker in Los Angeles and San Francisco, we have a series of question we ask our clients in order to find out their charisma level:

  1. In most situations are you seen as a leader?
  2. Do you always find it easy to make new friends or catch someone’s eye?
  3. Is it easy for you to make the 1st move?
  4. Are you often the center of attention?
  5. Do people generally consider you successful and attractive?
  6. Are you told you have a great sense of humor and know how to make people laugh?

If you can honestly answer Yes to all of these questions then you are here by deemed as a “high level charismatic person”. And on the other hand if you answered most of these questions with a No,  then here are some dating tips towards making your charisma irresistible.

  1. Engage with more expression, humor and with inflection in your voice. Being predictable is never sexy.
  2. Create a presence or make an impact when you enter a room. Charisma is confidence, high energy and creative, never cocky or overly aggressive.
  3. Its always good to keep a little mystery about yourself. Its never the loudest most obnoxious person in the room that is envied.
  4. Learn to tell stories better by painting pictures in a listeners mind. Don’t just tell your story, create an experience with descriptive language.
  5. Dare to have your own unique style. Most charismatic people are not copycats.
  6. As a rule of thumb, by honestly making people feel good about themselves will in return make them feel good about you.

Don’t let trying to be charismatic paralyze you, its suppose to help you discover who you really could be. Visit to sign up for a sizzling Single to Mingle event or an Attractive Singles Party where you can meet other professional singles and dazzle them with your charisma!


Linda, Pacific Palisades, CA

Dating in Los Angeles can be such a headache. Jessie, you have gotten me excited about finding love again and I am actually having fun in the process. I always look forward to meeting my dates and have had more second dates through The Real Matchmaker than when I was searching for quality single men on my own. You really are the best dating service in Los Angeles-possibly the entire world!

Brian, Culver City, CA

Anni, If it wasn’t for your dating advice and scouting I wouldn’t have been in position emotionally to meet my current girlfriend. At the very least, I may not have appreciated how great she is. Thank you for everything!!!

Sonya, Beverly Hills, CA

I was blown away by the great food and great company at the single event you put together. It was so nice that you talked to all of us before the event so that we felt more comfortable. Conversations were so effortless and I can honestly say that this was the most organized and fun singles event I have ever attended. I can’t wait to attend the Date Me Game event you are hosting next month!

Dan, Pasadena, CA

In a world of money making frauds, she is the real deal. Jessie took the time to meet with me, got to know me and listened to what my needs were and what I was interested in, then rolled up her sleeves and went to work. It’s very evident she knows what she’s doing, and takes great pride in taking care of her clients needs. The women she represents, and the dates she has arranged for me have been nothing short of extraordinary, and really fun as well. Really pleased to be working with her.

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